cardiganwear:

the date just passed me by.

& i’m sorry.

i didn’t mean to forget about you.

it slipped me by

overwhelmed by my own struggles,

but not a day goes wasted. same thoughts flow through my empty mind and i never fail to sincerely apologize. did you ever realize how common your name is? i catch myself still when i do hear your name being called out.

it’s been 3 years. & i still miss you from time to time. tho the pain faded away, scars are still left. only bandaged till i’m comfortable enough to openly talk about it…

i still continue to blame myself. it was entirely my own doings that caused you to lose self-control. i still don’t know when to stop myself from saying how sorry i am. 

i don’t quite know how to cope with this yet. i’m still stuck in the hole you left me in. for 3 years i’ve been trying to dig myself out of this guilt, only to realize how much deeper it’s gotten. 

& i guess that’s what happened to us. you faded and i was left in the dark.

i remember you told me i was your light. a light that guided through your struggles. but i forgot to mention how much you lite the darkness. i felt the need to live, not for myself, but for you. cause you were the one that needed me. and i guess that’s how Jesus did it.

though i lost you. i don’t regret what i did. cause

i chose God.

i chose church

got baptized &

gained a new life the day you decided to give yours away.

i know i hurt you, but you reflected the same. & because i realize this now i’ve grown a different perspective on my guilt and how wrong it was for me to hurt myself mentally. 

but i’ll be ok and i hope you are too. 

you got want you wanted.

…..

i just wish you stayed a little longer. 

he was an extordinary friend.
quite pleasant
lovely tone
with a bod haha
i really enjoyed our conversations together
you were unpredictable
& your love for God was incredible.


i think you could fall in love with someone you’ve never met.
as long as you find the time to get to know each other.
share deep secrets not even the people you incounter everyday will know.

hmm but  it seems as we died out.
it was a sad ending to a beautiful start.

i don’t know if i love you enough to want to stay. i wish we could just stay friends. but that never works out, does it?

seriously, you guise

mlgc:

You fall for them, but not on purpose. But by accident. Just one smile, makes you want them more and more. Just the way they talk to you, makes them “perfect” for you. They don’t make you fall for them, you just do. Without knowing. You make them your everyday person to talk to. You make talking to them your daily routine. You get so used to it that you don’t notice that you made them your everything. So at the end, it’s still an accident, even when they’re gone.

(Source: mariellegee, via cardiganwear)